How foolish of me to think I could stretch this $5 out into 500 spins of the e-wheels. I sat down at one penny slot and quickly learned that you can't actually make one-cent plays anymore. Notable examples included a poncho- and sombrero-wearing Mexican man from Jumpin' Jalapenos, a woman with a bindi and hands clasped in prayer in Graceful Lotus, and a wide-eyed surprised Asian chef in the game Fortune Cookie. You'd think that a facility run by an ethnic group would be more sensitive to borderline racism in the characters within its games, but the Morongo casino was chock-a-block full of slots that teetered precariously on the tightrope of caricature and racism. A digital wheel popped up on the screen, spun itself, and predictably awarded me only $5 of credit. The $50 of slot play I had been promised turned out to actually be a maximum of $50. After my ID was scanned into some database that would surely be emailing me promotions in a week, I approached an activation machine with my newly-minted card. I'm fully aware that these are nefariously designed bits of social engineering meant to have you disassociate what you're spending on games with actual money, but I signed up for one anyway because, besides the buffet discount, I apparently also got $50 of free slots credits to play with.

I noticed a sign offering $5 off the buffet if I were to sign up for the Morongo Winner's Circle card. When I pressed a little more to see if there were any shows or promos in honor of Turkey Day, his eyes seemed to say, Do you understand where you are? while his mouth said, 'No.' I took my drink and sought out guest services to see if I could find any other attempts at a holiday cash grab, or even a shout out to Squanto, but unfortunately, all I could find out from the nice lady at the desk was that many people stayed at the casino over Thanksgiving weekend to participate in the three-day Black Friday bonanza going on at the outlets next door. The bartender was friendly as well he told me the casino was commemorating Thanksgiving with a special feast at the buffet. I started at the bar and found the drinks to be refreshingly cheap. It was a mission in line with The National Day of Mourning and Unthanksgiving, two holidays focused on commemorating the struggles of this country's native population. My excuse for making this trip was to symbolically give money back to the indigenous people whom my white forefathers stole a continent from.

Morongo casino buffet for thanksgiving